Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
