she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
