Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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