allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize