how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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