yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
