I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
