Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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