i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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