if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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