yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
