he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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