She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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