big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
