I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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