but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
