We're like a lot better than the average bears
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
