My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
