when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
