is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
