if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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