so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
