my soul wont recognize me after tonight
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
