NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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