He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
