I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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