I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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