Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize