The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
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