She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
No stitches, just platelets and will power
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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