I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
