So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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