i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
