this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize