Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
