Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
