Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
MIDGETS
????
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
