She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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