my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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