apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
