3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
