I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
