Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize