just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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