Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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