She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
