so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
