I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
These tits shall not be calmed
I would fuck him just for his dog
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