Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
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I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
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i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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