i jhust puked up my retainher.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
cat food counts as protein by the way
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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