who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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