oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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