she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
