Where are you?
In a non slutty way
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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