i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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