i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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