Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
